passing the torch.

the next team leaves today for my beloved a-stan. i was blessed to join in praying for them last night... laying hands on the team...lifting them before the Father. what a sweet experience. you could sense the Spirit in that place. i am confident that He will be with them. i will continue to pray for their safety, their families, and for their hearts to be open to the variety of ways they can shine for God...for Jesus.

at the service last night they showed a video taken by our team, of our great host talking about the power of prayer. i will keep praying for miracles in the hearts of the afghans. i cling to The Hope.

i am so pumped for the merge team. khushbakht bashee! (good luck!)

home safe. missing the a-stan.

hello all!

i'm back home safely in the states. been stateside for a couple days now, trying to adjust my body back to mountain time zone and my mind back to...regular life? what is regular life? this question lingers in my head. how do i begin to integrate my experience? how can i not be unchanged?

i know that as time progresses, i will continue to see the impact of my short time in afghanistan. i pray that i will keep an open mind and heart to the variety of ways i will be affected.

i plan to send out emails and letters in the next couple of weeks, sharing stories and thoughts. who knows, maybe i'll continue this blog as a stream of consciousness as i readjust. in the meantime, i welcome your questions...so send 'em my way!

peace to you.

khodar hafez, afghanistan.

"it seems like such a short time, at first glance. but so many lifetimes are held in a single moment. how many of those moments are still to come? i can only dream...there is so much yet to come." --renae rogers

i hope my sis renae will forgive me for using her beautiful quote. it just keeps repeating in my head as i try to wrap my brain around leaving this rugged, strong, beautiful, healing land. tears of today's parting have not begun for me yet, but i know it is just a matter of time. i can feel them brewing.

i am so thankful for this opportunity. thankful for God's grace in joining this team. thankful for the people i have been blessed to interact with, for the stories i have heard. i pray that this country and its people will never be far from my heart. i know this short time here will continue to impact me as i return home; i pray i will be open to the changes, open to the tears, open to sharing my experiences--the joy and the pain--with others.

Father, help me to never forget what you have done here, what you are doing here. bless this land. bless these people.

istalef. resort town to taliban stronghold to restored community.

went up to istalef today. this lush mountain town was once a resort destination for wealthy afghans. during the civil war, the taliban took over this strategic, lookout location; they burned many of the buildings...residents fleeing for their lives. through the war, bombs and fire decimated the city. it was unrecognizable. the residents began to return slowly, only to find ruins. the organization we're working with partnered with the residents of istalef as they began to return after the war had ended. it is so encouraging to see now. where there once was a severe outbreak of disease and death, there is a 24-hour clinic with an on-site lab and growing families. the disease (leishmaniasis) has been nearly eradicated, the people are engaging in family planning, learning about nutrition, getting vaccines. there is even a dentist on-site! after seeing the other, starting end of the spectrum at barek aub, it was great to see the self-sufficient end at istalef. hooray for community development!!

the town of istalef was beautiful. it was easy to see why it had been a resort town. we went out to the old hotel, which really showed the devistation of the war. but, as is the trend in this country, there is new growth and green among the rubble.

we leave tomorrow. hard to believe our time here is up. i plan to blog in the morning a little... so until then...khodar hafez.

toshaks and tears in barek aub

the team spent the past two mornings out in barek aub getting to know a few families better. we videotaped interviews, translated by our wonderful host, to bring back to our "flatirons community" when we return. each family was selected by the town elders and one of the community development trainers. all ten of us were invited into the homes of these wonderful people, sitting on the traditional toshaks (large pillows on the floor) in their simple 8x10 one-room homes. each of the five families had a different story to share, yet there were many common themes: a comfortable life turned upside-down by war, lives lost to the taliban, fleeing to pakistan, returning to nothing, getting the land in barek aub, the struggle, the progress, the hope...and the strength.

it is difficult to sum up all that we heard in those five homes, so i will try to share snapshots to give some idea. one woman (wife) sat facing away from the men in the room of her home, looking at us women during the entire interview. however, she shared her heart at the end and her strong spirit was evident. one father shared how he did not expect his wife to survive childbirth, but the new clinic in town helped her get to the hospital in kabul in time for a c-section. both the mom and 10 week-old baby were doing well...sitting in front of us, smiling. in another home, many of us shared tears with a family over the many lost lives due to the taliban...a teenage son of one mother, 30+ members of one man's family... we grieved together, finally grasping the devastation. we shared how our hearts break with them, how we are family now. we shared hope for the future, for barek aub and for the children. we shared smiles as one man told us of his wedding day (30 years ago) and complemented his wife in a way that awkwardly reinforced our cultural differences. yet there we were. sitting together. sweating together. sharing our hearts, our hopes, our stories.

it has been such a blessing to be able to continue to build our relationships with these people. continuing the work our "flatirons community" has been invested in, ever since we first partnered with this village over a year and a half ago...back when it was only an IDP camp (refugee camp).

i am excited to see how these stories change lives of people back home...how they will change my life. i still want to stay, although i realize our time is running out here. i will pray that God will let me return soon to these people.

a golf course? in kabul?

yep. and a beautiful lake.

after finishing up interviews with families in barek aub (i'll blog about that in a bit...look up for it) and after our daily seista, we went back out into town for a tour of the sights. first stop, kabul golf course. i wish i had a picture to post for y'all. driving past the gate one of my teammates hollered "there's hole four"; a pole (pvc pipe) with a big yellow flag that had a large "4" markered onto it. needless to say, it was hilarious. the landscape here is like the southwest, and the gofl course was no different. brown wild grasses, green weedy thorny things, random dogs wandering about...and the obligatory armed policeman wandering around. gives a whole new meaning to the term "in the rough"! :) though we didn't golf, we shot some pictures and enjoyed some good laughs. (and for those of you wondering, i'm actually getting pretty good at reigning in my big laugh...but am always on guard.)

after a good laugh at the golf course, we drove up just a bit to the stunning view of qarbagh lake/reservoir. in such a dry land (and city) it was totally inexpected. the water was topaz blue, the rugged mountains behind made the gentle waves that much more inviting. we were all quite tempted to jump in (the fact that we haven't had water to shower for the past day and half didn't help), but cultural norms kept us dry on the shore. there is a wonderful restaurant/picnic area, nicknamed "engagement park" (i trust you can guess why). beautiful lush gardens with brilliant green grass and blooming flowers all around the grounds, which were surrounded on three sides by water. we sat around a table there for what felt like hours, sharing stories with our host (and the four guards with us), drinking tea & delicious nescafe, and eating the best lamb kebabs i've ever tasted. simply wonderful. incredibly relaxing.

it is hard to imagine that this idyllic spot would exist in a dry land...a cramped, dirty, war-torn city. but it does. again, there is hope. there is growth.

kabul school has stolen my heart.

ok. it's official. i want to stay here. in fact, i want to stay in the classrooms at the kabul school. this is a two month old school geared to disadvantaged children. some were orphans--living with relatives, a couple children had mental and physical disabilities, all of the children have jobs outside of school to help support their families. classes only go until lunch, which is provided by the school, and then the children are dismissed so they can go to work.

we spent all morning over there today, in the 50+ year old building. some of the team were out on the deck with the kiddos, some of us in classrooms. i was in a room full of boys, and loved every minute of it. after quick introductions (i've been dubbed "stepcha"), i sat down on the floor (in a culturally appropriate manner, of course) in a circle of boys equipped with crayons and paper and started drawing with all of them. they are learning english, dari (local language), pashto (the next most common language-also used in pakistan), math, and...computers! the boys were showing me their computer and practicing their english "kompooter!" so we began with drawing them. they know their parts! mouse, computer, keyboard, cpu...pretty impressive. the kiddos kept bringing me their drawings, i kept giving them more paper. they would tell me what they drew in dari, i would try to repeat it, then i would tell them how to say it in english, with them repeating me. we progressed to alphabet flashcards. the boys were so eager to yell out the right letter and try to figure out what the corresponding picture was. again, they would tell it to me in dari, i would tell them in english, helping them with pronunciation. right there, in a room full of kids i had never met, across the world in kabul, making animal sounds, fumbling with my dari...i felt right at home. i remember thinking "i could stay here, do this everyday, and feel completely fulfilled."

after more lessons, games, stretching, and singing, it was time for the kiddos to eat. some of us helped serve the food, while a few of us videotaped interviews of a few students to bring back to flatirons.

we came back to the house for lunch, which we shared with a couple USAF chaplains. great conversation, delicious food. now we're hanging out, processing and recharging before we decide what to do with our 4th of july afternoon. ...i can guarantee we will not be setting off fireworks! :)

since i'm working on my dari... khodar hafez (goodbye)...for now!

a day of fellowship

got to experience rug buying today. though i was not a purchaser, i enjoyed sitting back and observing. ...i also enjoyed the tea, almonds, and dried mulberries that accompany shopping in many stores. yummmmmmmmm. the rugs were beautiful; the process was truly a dance. the workers pulling rugs from the stacks (and stacks and stacks), trying to match the desired size and style of the buyer. pulled rugs quickly create a stack on the floor until a decision is made. so cool!

today is joma (friday), which in muslim cultures is like sundays in the states. a day of rest for us. rest and fellowship. lots of chatting in the guest house today, getting to know each other better. talking about our beliefs, our lives, world politics, afghanistan... great conversation. even now as i write this, five of us night owls are still chatting it up (while saying "i've got to go to bed"). :)

we were able to meet this morning (in a house close by us in kabul) with a small group of people from other countries, all working here, who share a common faith. what an amazing experience! worshiping and praying with 20+ people (including us) from 10+ countries. one man from zimbabwe shared his "story"...how john 10 spoke to him when he was in his mid-twenties. he was the lost sheep who finally heard the call of the Shepherd. (if you are not familiar with john 10, read it!) one thing he said has stuck with me. he often asks God what He wants him to "do", only to get the consistent, resounding answer: "just be". everyday of life, living your faith. wherever. whatever. just be.

barek aub and prayer hill.

it's friday morning...wrote this yesterday but was unable to post it due to spotty internet. better late than never! read on below...
*******************************

salaam alaikum!

we're taking a bit of a siesta as i write this. ha ha...americans using a spanish custom in afghanistan. hilarious!

early morning today, but it was wonderful. chatting with the team over tea out in the garden/yard of the guest house here in kabul. all the homes have large 6'+ high walls surrounding the property, so it made for a quiet morning. after a delicious breakfast we headed out to barek aub (or bareekab, as it is sometimes written). it was about an hour drive north, on the way to bagram (afghan city with a large US air base). i enjoyed the scenery as we rode out; getting more of a feel for kabul province. i'm still searching for the right word to describe the landscape out here. ...i'll keep working on that. in one sense it reminds me of a desert version of interlaken, switzerland. big mountains jutting out of nowhere in a dry valley. thanks to the rainiest spring in the past 30 years, there is still some greenery, desert style, but still green.

so barek aub.
felt a bit surreal after all this time hearing about this place in the other side of the world. i felt like a sponge, soaking it up. perhaps it will hit me later. we went to the clinic, given a tour by the head doctor for the organization (a woman!), one of the staff, and one of the trainers (also a woman). it was great to see where the community development and training takes place. totally random--they have leap frog books (like the ones we have for kids in the states to learn numbers, animals, etc) but theirs are oriented to public health. you touch one page and it starts to tell you about various vaccinations. touch another and it discusses nutrition. so cool. what a great use of technology! :)

oh, back track a few minutes. driving into barek aub, as we approached the clinic, there was a gathering of women and children outside, waiting their turn to be seen. almost all of the women were in chardaris (burkas). before we got close, their chardaris were up, showing their faces as they visited with each other. as we, unknown foreigners, approached, they quickly put their chardaris down, veiling themselves fully. interesting to see. (also cool, once they got more used to us and realized where we were from--flatirons community--some of them lifted their veils again.)

we hope to go back out to barek aub a couple more times, so i will try to keep this posting about it relatively brief. it was wonderful to get to see the clinic, the school, ...the people after all this time of hearing about them at flatirons. what a change these things have made in the lives of the people! all of us agree...there is HOPE for these people. hope in the eyes of these people.

a highlight: standing at the pumphouse (well), hanging with some kiddos...once sweet, beautiful afghan girl grabbed my hand and just held it for a while. my heart melted right there.

we took the long way back "home", going out to bagram--which is the green end of the valley, driving back on the istalif road. i had the wonderful pleasure of riding with an american family that has moved to kabul to work with the people, share hope and love. i was able to chat with them about their lives and their faith. wow. that was really neat.

we took a big lunch, typed the first half of this blog during semi-siesta time, sorted some gear/meds, and headed out into kabul city to get more of a tour. a couple highlights: seeing the soccer field where so many lives were taken by the taliban--and getting to hear one of the staff talk about their experience during the war; watching ISAF (international military peeps) soldiers playing soccer with some afghan guys up on the kite flying hill; sharing laughs with the team and staff; overlooking the city of kabul from "prayer hill", a hill inthe middle of the city...named by some of the staff who go up there to pray for the city and its people; drinking pakastani chai (yum!) while sharing highlights of the day with the team.

already, i am in love with this country and its people. there is beauty. there is hope.

kabul, at last!

we are here! finally! after 36 hours of travel we descended into kabul. i was gaping out the window at the stunning hindu kush mountains. what a beautiful, rugged land...truly puts me in awe of God.

our flights all went well. i didn't sleep much on our long 13 hour one, but caught a great nap on the deck of a boat as we toured the khan dubai (dubai creek) and another great one while curled up in a sofa chair at the dubai airport. gotta get rest when you can! it's hard to believe that our time here is only beginning. i feel our team has already bonded so much...while standing in the back of our plane en route to dubai, laughing it up in our layover spots (DC, dubai), and sweating profusely together in the midnight heat of the united arab emirates! :)

as we originally began our descent to kabul, we suddenly got word that kabul airport was temporarily closed due to "lack of parking". random! it was kinda cool, though, because we had to take a last minute redirect to mazar-a-sharif to refuel and wait for kabul airport to clear out. welcome to afghanistan. ;) none of our team had ever been to mazar-a-sharif, so we still enjoyed the view...even if we didn't get to leave the plane. some US military guys were out on top of the "terminal" (the size of a large house) took some pictures of our plane hanging out and hogging the tarmac.

now in kabul, some observations:
*military guards behind barbed wire fences leaving the airport
*the lack of driving lanes. it's a free for all. literally. people, bikes, buses, cars...free for all!
*the isolated feeling of the land. these mountains surrounding kabul are passable, but still impressive
* our host and the director of the NGO is every bit as welcoming, amicable, and knowledgeable as i had expected!

while we were fighting hard to stay awake after our delayed arrival, wakil and waheed took us on a driving tour of kabul. i tried to include a pic of the team at the remnants (thanks to civil war) of the old king's palace...but it was taking too long! maybe tomorrow! :)

we just finished a light dinner and are all ready to pass out (it's just after 9p here). i'm off to sleep in a bed for the first time in three "days". night!

ready. and thankful.

driving home from church tonight (after a great message and many, many hugs) i was struck by the awesome beauty of God. the mountains were the perfect shade of purple, the sky bright orange fading to blue...i even passed a small lake that reflected the splendor in the sky. amazing.
all i could do was give thanks. i am so thankful for this opportunity. for this life. for my God.

so, the night before we leave, how do i feel? ready.


here i am God. send me. use me.

three days to go...

we leave in three days...i can hardly believe it! last minute errands, prayer, time with family and friends, packing, more prayer, and reading are filling these last days.

how do i feel? in a word...excited. nervous? surprisingly not. i have an utter sense of calm and peace, which can only come from God. i feel so blessed to be a part of this team. to have the chance to meet and be impacted by the people of afghanistan.

i am looking forward to:
*being wildly (and subtly) changed
*having my perspective on life blown open
*experiencing a radically different culture
*being quieted (got to work on toning down the loud laugh a bit more) :)
*connecting...with my team and the people of afghanistan
*being used by God

for those who are curious, we head out monday afternoon...denver, DC, dubai, then kabul!

oh yeah..."kooja?" is dari for "where?" (dari is the main language i'll encounter in afghanistan)

later!